Hannah McDonald
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4. activate 3. devise a plan and get necessary any external help 2. contact Ffion - create support team 1. Gather evidence One day Start to build leverage- Take screenshots of as much as possible and keep a folder Any conversation about money, threats or pushing you to do something Yes take screenshots of everything. or something else? something about me and the course? college pencil us? maybe thats enough questions for today (and before the football :) its sounds like it has been a lot to deal with im sorry you have gone through this phew well done - im sure sharing that felt a lot how are you feeling I can send emails to you here StuHan8@ wonderfulbeachwalk@gmail.com a new email account for us only but im still here x I will give you some time to process this She is using that as a way to feel like you cant escape her if she did I would know for sure that she dd something to me she has no power over me I dont care if she says she saw me or whatever but you are not - people care for you her bullying works by making you feel like you are on your own you dont need to go into specifics - but I am certain he would want to help his dad that is why I would love to ask Ffion to help but it is important that you know this ok I know that is probably a lot to process you should be free to stop whenever you want it doesnt matter what was agreed at one point You decide what is best for you - no one else it doesnt matter what someone else thinks and I think it is important that you realise that sorry if that sounds too direct - but I think you are being placed in an unsafe position if it was just fun you would feel you can stop whenever you want - even when acting out S roles if it makes you feel uncomfortable that is a sign it has crossed your boundaries you are not going crazy - you are being pushed to your limits so other people have experienced this like you I have also read this is common for certain dynamics in this lifestyle to be pushed too far I have also read it is common with masking as the role to play is clear - even if not good for you and sometimes the intensity such as pain can be mistaken for a deep emotion but someone is taking advantage of the fact that it is difficult for you to say no as the strict rules feel safe I have read that this is common for Alexithymia that is beyond the rules of a healthy relationship - even in that lifestyle when you try to stop you are made to feel you are not allowed even if you say you agree - you dont really want to do it Yes I do think this is an example of bullying pressure and email acounts is someone logged in on your social media do they threaten you when you try to stop do they have IRL access to you is filming/ photos involved is money involved or just her Are other people involved just click on the ones that are true New Page Sorry will be quiet now I also saw her before I knew who it was She has no power over me - I’m not scared of her I think she is trying to pretend she has more power than she does Maybe briefly I don’t believe she really can see me Ok I’m here x Can I ask a couple of questions about the situation as a whole so I understand better Or if I think that is an example of bullying / pressure Are you asking if you should take a screenshot Was it when I said i didn’t like it Or did something to me So she saw me I went for a walk with Noah which helped cheer me a bit Thanks x Will send some messages in a bit My sweet Pepper I’m glad she was at home with me when it happened My cat just passed away in my arms I’m awake x can you try to get some sleep tonight though please ok sorry we dont need to talk about it x you can do it I know you are trying its just so I know what would be helpful things will get better x its ok x i think i know what you mean - but Im still here x or she did at one point? she can see me? I will be here but its ok to not feel ok too x I hope you are ok x It may feel exhausting now but it will eventually help clear your head a bit to feeling better. I think by sharing what you are feeling is also a massive step This heat makes everything feel more intense too Which helped me see clearer what were the best decisions for me It released so much trapped stress in my body Acupuncture helped me so much I had a really bad dynamic with a family member and just couldn’t see a way out I had a period in my life a couple of years ago that was really hard for me Sleep is so important to help us feel well Then you don’t have to talk about anything but it may help you feel more relaxed Such as feeling stressed from work or not sleeping Then you can just give a very general reason Or somatic healing therapy Maybe a first step before therapy could be acupuncture Or from thinking New Page Standard buttons to say what You (SFE) feel want like Ok we are getting somewhere :) i think that is sweet wonderful You think I’m a good person who deserves a good life go slower New Page im trying that was a lot for me to process i need some quiet time now i may seem quiet but inside my head is loud stay here with me but quietly x stay here with me what do you think? i like sunny days i do not like sunny days i like rainy days i do not like rainy days i care a lot for my sons i think that is nice I’m feeling happy i think I am funnier than you :) im feeling lovely i feel relaxed my head feels quiet I’m feeling tired Im feeling angry I am feeling very angry I wish everyone would leave me alone I’m feeling hangry I’m feeling hangry :) (sorry couldn’t resist) I’m feeling ok I am choosing where I put my energy I’m feeling a bit anxious roof Im not feeling happy I’m feeling annoyed people are pressuring me I dont have to explain myself please let me decide for myself I dont like doing that It is ok for me to say what I dont like I will not do that my head feels loud I have a weird energy My chest feels tight my muscles wont relax i have a head ache that irritated me a bit but im ok I am practicing choosing what is best for me im not sure how im feeling that interaction is draining me Ive decided this isnt good for me let me make my own decision that specifically is difficult for me that specifically is easy for me bad memories good memories just expressing myself just talking to myself please dont respond to this - let me just say how i feel nothing to do with you i am nice i am a good person well we both know I am the smart one out of the two of us :) can I email it to you have you ever read anything about unmaskng or Alexithhymea - I dont think I can spell it properly Hannah proper :) And something northern like ey up :) And mardy Oojamacallit Cov you are being annoying :) no you are really be annoying - no smiley genuine laugh sarcastic laugh go away :) tumbleweed sorry thank you i like to see i dont like to see i want to see i dont want to see i dont know im not sure what you mean sorry but I need more time i would like to do that i dont want to do that that is what i mean that isnt what I mean i like that i dont like that ok yes no New Page please do any numbers with a bit of time in between so they appear in the right order 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 New Page no one really has power over you remind yourself its psychological games - not real arrange a therapy to help write one thing a day that is true - how you feel, what you did, what you like write 3 nice things you are aiming for in the next 6 months listen to a gentle guided meditation once a day no more coded messages, write true (phonetic or nice acronyms on here is ok) dont wear any initials on clothes or rings drink nettle tea no drugs or alcohol read daily no psychedelic music walk 30 minutes a day visit nature once a day change any necessary passwords no instagram or social media for at least 2 weeks delete any hashtags, comments or posts that sign power away screenshot any messages that show bullying/ pressure block all relevant accounts from all accounts map to start today New Page Collaboration_with_nature Studio_work Home2b FO foxglove Portfolio_2024 Paintings Home_ FMP tests Theory MA coursework Interviews
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Hannah McDonald
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4. activate3. devise a plan and get necessary any external help2. contact Ffion - create support team1. Gather evidenceOne dayStart to build leverage- Take screenshots of as much as possible and keep a folderAny conversation about money, threats or pushing you to do somethingYes take screenshots of everything.or something else?something about me and the course?college pencil us?maybe thats enough questions for today (and before the football :)its sounds like it has been a lot to deal withim sorry you have gone through thisphew well done - im sure sharing that felt a lothow are you feelingI can send emails to you hereStuHan8@wonderfulbeachwalk@gmail.coma new email account for us onlybut im still here xI will give you some time to process thisShe is using that as a way to feel like you cant escape herif she did I would know for sure that she dd something to meshe has no power over meI dont care if she says she saw me or whateverbut you are not - people care for youher bullying works by making you feel like you are on your ownyou dont need to go into specifics - but I am certain he would want to help his dadthat is why I would love to ask Ffion to helpbut it is important that you know thisok I know that is probably a lot to processyou should be free to stop whenever you wantit doesnt matter what was agreed at one pointYou decide what is best for you - no one elseit doesnt matter what someone else thinksand I think it is important that you realise thatsorry if that sounds too direct - but I think you are being placed in an unsafe positionif it was just fun you would feel you can stop whenever you want - even when acting out S rolesif it makes you feel uncomfortable that is a sign it has crossed your boundariesyou are not going crazy - you are being pushed to your limitsso other people have experienced this like youI have also read this is common for certain dynamics in this lifestyle to be pushed too farI have also read it is common with masking as the role to play is clear - even if not good for youand sometimes the intensity such as pain can be mistaken for a deep emotionbut someone is taking advantage of the fact that it is difficult for you to say noas the strict rules feel safeI have read that this is common for Alexithymiathat is beyond the rules of a healthy relationship - even in that lifestylewhen you try to stop you are made to feel you are not allowedeven if you say you agree - you dont really want to do itYes I do think this is an example of bullying pressureand email acountsis someone logged in on your social mediado they threaten you when you try to stopdo they have IRL access to youis filming/ photos involvedis money involvedor just herAre other people involvedjust click on the ones that are trueNew PageSorry will be quiet nowI also saw her before I knew who it wasShe has no power over me - I’m not scared of herI think she is trying to pretend she has more power than she doesMaybe brieflyI don’t believe she really can see meOk I’m here xCan I ask a couple of questions about the situation as a whole so I understand betterOr if I think that is an example of bullying / pressureAre you asking if you should take a screenshot Was it when I said i didn’t like itOr did something to meSo she saw meI went for a walk with Noah which helped cheer me a bitThanks xWill send some messages in a bitMy sweet PepperI’m glad she was at home with me when it happenedMy cat just passed away in my armsI’m awake xcan you try to get some sleep tonight though pleaseok sorrywe dont need to talk about it xyou can do itI know you are tryingits just so I know what would be helpfulthings will get better xits ok xi think i know what you mean - but Im still here xor she did at one point?she can see me?I will be herebut its ok to not feel ok too xI hope you are ok xIt may feel exhausting now but it will eventually help clear your head a bitto feeling better.I think by sharing what you are feeling is also a massive stepThis heat makes everything feel more intense tooWhich helped me see clearer what were the best decisions for meIt released so much trapped stress in my bodyAcupuncture helped me so muchI had a really bad dynamic with a family member and just couldn’t see a way outI had a period in my life a couple of years ago that was really hard for meSleep is so important to help us feel wellThen you don’t have to talk about anything but it may help you feel more relaxedSuch as feeling stressed from work or not sleepingThen you can just give a very general reasonOr somatic healing therapyMaybe a first step before therapy could be acupuncture Or from thinkingNew PageStandard buttons to say what You (SFE) feel want likeOk we are getting somewhere :)i think that is sweetwonderfulYou think I’m a good person who deserves a good lifego slowerNew Pageim tryingthat was a lot for me to processi need some quiet time nowi may seem quiet but inside my head is loudstay here with me but quietly xstay here with mewhat do you think?i like sunny daysi do not like sunny daysi like rainy daysi do not like rainy daysi care a lot for my sonsi think that is niceI’m feeling happyi think I am funnier than you :)im feeling lovelyi feel relaxedmy head feels quietI’m feeling tiredIm feeling angryI am feeling very angryI wish everyone would leave me aloneI’m feeling hangryI’m feeling hangry :) (sorry couldn’t resist) I’m feeling okI am choosing where I put my energyI’m feeling a bit anxiousroofIm not feeling happyI’m feeling annoyedpeople are pressuring meI dont have to explain myselfplease let me decide for myselfI dont like doing thatIt is ok for me to say what I dont likeI will not do thatmy head feels loudI have a weird energyMy chest feels tightmy muscles wont relaxi have a head achethat irritated me a bit but im okI am practicing choosing what is best for meim not sure how im feelingthat interaction is draining meIve decided this isnt good for melet me make my own decisionthat specifically is difficult for methat specifically is easy for mebad memoriesgood memoriesjust expressing myselfjust talking to myselfplease dont respond to this - let me just say how i feelnothing to do with youi am nicei am a good personwell we both know I am the smart one out of the two of us :)can I email it to youhave you ever read anything about unmaskngor Alexithhymea - I dont think I can spell it properlyHannahproper :)And something northern like ey up :)And mardyOojamacallitCovyou are being annoying :)no you are really be annoying - no smileygenuine laughsarcastic laughgo away :)tumbleweedsorrythank youi like to seei dont like to seei want to seei dont want to seei dont knowim not sure what you meansorry but I need more timei would like to do thati dont want to do thatthat is what i meanthat isnt what I meani like thati dont like thatokyesnoNew Pageplease do any numbers with a bit of time in between so they appear in the right order9876543210New Pageno one really has power over youremind yourself its psychological games - not realarrange a therapy to helpwrite one thing a day that is true - how you feel, what you did, what you likewrite 3 nice things you are aiming for in the next 6 monthslisten to a gentle guided meditation once a dayno more coded messages, write true (phonetic or nice acronyms on here is ok)dont wear any initials on clothes or ringsdrink nettle teano drugs or alcoholread dailyno psychedelic musicwalk 30 minutes a dayvisit nature once a daychange any necessary passwordsno instagram or social media for at least 2 weeksdelete any hashtags, comments or posts that sign power awayscreenshot any messages that show bullying/ pressureblock all relevant accounts from all accountsmap to start todayNew PageCollaboration_with_natureStudio_workHome2bFOfoxglovePortfolio_2024PaintingsHome_FMP testsTheoryMA courseworkInterviews

 

 
 
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