most of the time when I seem upset I just genuinely need a moment to calm down — Hannah McDonald

Hannah McDonald

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sorry I don’t like thinking about her you I could go on your nice face your super talent of understanding other people’s tastes your sense of humor, your memory your sweetness, your ability to chat to anybody your storytelling skills, your nice hands :), your nice hair, like your music taste, how you dress, your speedy brain And you can start with easier things maybe each day try and think of one thing about yourself that you like if you can try and start to think that about yourself too I would really like that but as someone looking from outside I don’t think you are a bad person I know change is hard and you need to work out the best way for you but i promise you getting out of that situation will make you feel so much better about yourself I know you are trying - and I don’t want to add pressure crazy tricks aside : ) I know you don’t think so but you have brought a lot of happiness into my life if you were good person you wouldn’t be able to make me feel well spending too much time around negative energy drags us down I guarantee then you will start to remember and have very cosy gentle days you would go for blustery beach walks (hopefully one day with me too) if I could have my way you would sleep for hours and hours still I like you a lot I promise you you are a good person - who has forgotten that about himself I think the situation you are in doesn’t give you enough space to see the good and the bad don’t worry everything is ok here 8 i feel you decided to do that from the first moment we met i always wonder why you decided to share this all with me will help your situation i wonder if practicing to remember you are a good person that is easy for me - as you are a nice person so in the mean time someone needs to help you with that well i think you have forgotten how to be nice to yourself you are sweet to me i think it was intended as a compliment - but you are like that too : ) that so many people pretend to be weird - but im naturally weird - ha! I can remember someone saying to me once but that is also what makes us special : ) i think we are both a mixture of sweet and crazy : ) and I like that we are slowly getting to know each other but in summary ' i like you' : ) and this morning oh im not sure what happened it removed my messages from last night dont worry i think i understand ok But you do still know I like you, even when I get a bit upset even when you don’t think so and remember I always think you are sweet everything is ok here i promise x sorry please :) and i have had a 15year old tweedy winter coat that i would love something from you on there my great uncle's canvas army bag is first in line :) on things i have that I’d love you to sew something nice for me :) and just so you know I am already stocking up you are sweet to me thank you I hope you could get some sleep too I think i understand what you said everything is ok here i think better I will ask at another time - that’s ok you are sweet i think i just understood what you said I hope you are ok x i will wait here for you dont worry ok :) You are sweet I don’t need a reply don’t worry that’s ok - I will wait here and of course way too much empathy for such a world ha and we both pretend that we are more stupid than we are to avoid attention :) on who i choose i give that attention to at least that is my experience but i think i am better at being very selective now but then we disconnect ourselves from real connection easily too but that can also feel a little overwhelming - almost too much power - so we can throw it away first so its very easy to know what people are looking for much quicker than most other people but i think we are quite similar that we understand people quite easily i hope i dont sound arrogant saying this you deserve it its time to start giving yourself energy again you give me energy and im sure you give her a lot of energy your attention gives people energy and make them feel good about themselves even if you think it isnt natural but for people like you it just comes naturally and need to compete by stealing it i think some people can get quite jealous of that ease to be popular i imagine that is what she wants from you people gravitate towards you because of you but i dont think it is i know you think that is all manipulation and masking you are a special person that people immediately warm to people really like you but i think it shows how nice people think you are that even at your lowest i think this situation you are in has made you lose all confidence in yourself so people do see some of the real you also i dont think any mask can fake that i think even if people only see that part - they can still sense your niceness but i think that is just because your more jokey side is louder i know you think you are completely hidden you are someone who is obviously very kind and sweet but people really like you. other students are often commenting on how nice you are i wonder if you think your popularity is just shallow social media stuff I understand I know you are a good person - i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t I hope you are feeling ok I am here x thats a bit of a new thing for me to try - but im trying :) even if you cant respond right now but im going to go with faith that you like me doing that also and if that is is too much for you i guess you can take a break from looking at what i write i just like the idea - maybe in these moments - that you know i like you its not about getting something in return I like doing that plus I just like sending warmth your way so its nicer for me if I can just talk when i feel like it but im one of those people who when told they cant talk suddenly needs to say a lot :) unless you would like that (which is nice for me) dont worry im not expecting you to reply or even keep up with reading it i still like sharing a nice energy to you also just to say I hope you dont mind that when you go quiet your vibe 8 :) my vibe 7 poetic champions compose i just wanted you to know everything is ok here no response needed have checked around 3 times in the last few weeks also for Stewart to know Im still not on instagram everything is ok I have lots of painting to do today I know Francis is keeping you safe don’t worry I’m still here no rush you just make sense to me you make me happy i have felt happier since I have known you and if it is any kind of marker of anything - i promise - even if you dont believe in yourself - i believe in you but i think something could help and people are more similar to you than you maybe think all to say - I know you think nothing can help in some ways I have different selves too too depending on who i am talking to so I can hide it well too yet so people often comment that im so calm and happy i get shakey and sweat when I delete all my messages here it is a way to protect myself incase I am going to get hurt that is ok I understand - i have my own way of doing that too i know that sometimes you need to protect yourself a bit after everything I am still here - because I want to be I would like that i would really like Francis to feel like I am his friend infact that is something that upsets me - the thought of hurting someone i am not someone who likes hurting people i just want you to be well so it would be nice if Francis can see that he can trust me a bit a form of protection. I see that Francis is trying to protect you its the way our minds handle these things also I have read that it is very common to have seperate selves after some trauma please I would really like that for you let your mind rest and find itself again try if you can to take a break from this stuff now i wish you could see that you deserve much nicer things who for some reason seems to think he deserves to suffer i think you are a very sweet lovely person and choose to think about ourselves in a more positive way but i think its also nice to not focus on these things so much just like you - everyone is very good at hiding these things too no one iis perfect, everyone has things that hurt or shame them and focus on outside your head too but I think it could be really nice for your head to have a break from looking inward so much just in your case it feels a bit more prominent with these dynamics everyone has dark or weird things in their minds I also think you are judging yourself on all the stuff in the corners of your mind but things can always get better maybe it can feel like there is no solution when we are not used to talking about something I think it could be really nice for you to have a more peaceful cosy life now let go of some of these things that are hurting you maybe it could be nice to make a change now do you think you can see someone who can help? we are meant for greatness- I can see it and gives me time to sort myself out too I’m certain it will happen in its own time I like you because I recognized you that is ok for me I understand what you mean now about timings and rhythm and don’t worry about me rushing don’t worry I will wait here for you everything is ok take your time no rush earlier this year did you click from somewhere quaint in Kent? I’m here x cosy autumnal sundays my favourite I’m feeling better so hopefully my cold has gone good morning. I hope you could get some sleep you are also very smart- sometimes too smart :) please i would like that be kind to yourself for me and I like you a lot I think you are a sweet talented kind person it’s ok I’m still here with you thats ok i think i understand what you try to say - most of the time :) just cosiness and pure light here remember I hope you are ok the space in between I am keeping safe i am here don’t worry I have woken up with a sneezy cold so staying cosy in bed i promise x don’t worry we have time and remember i think you are sweet it just makes sense one day - I’m certain dont worry i know that will make you quiet :) thank you - i think you are very thoughtful and i still think you are so sweet to me please I would like that but I want you to feel like you can just be yourself I think I can be more helpful this way also : ) I prefer how things are now and not being so close to that stuff but I won’t try to decipher them if you don’t mind if it’s helpful to Stewart I don’t mind you using the codes you have to hide what you really want to express that’s ok I’m still here I hope you are feeling ok too i will wait here ok I think I understand I feel bad speaking negatively- but someone with kind patience is on my list : ) someone who acts with gentle slowness is very good for me so although my emotions fly with the wind : ) I have lived with someone who is very impatient and snaps when things don’t go his way. Your gentle slowness is very good for my soul btw one day I will get you to make me a playlist of some sort quite nice Oasis Of The Wind II A Story Of Forest And Water I hope you are ok i believe in you i am here for you, no rush and i still think you are sweet but i think you know by now I am both a bit bonkers but try to be genuine :) so apologies in advance and I will try to keep things gentle it is kind of new territory for me :) just to add I may make a mistake with my communication sometimes too Ok I think I understand do you think i am helping you? and I should just keep this space gentle and no pressure so maybe you need time to sort things a bit I feel really flattered that you reach out to me each day I think now I understand things a bit better and I think you were saying I shouldn’t see for now ok I think I’m starting to understand everything a bit better now but I just like to try and understand that’s all maybe that’s a bit too much for me to say in one go no rush I like you a lot that’s ok I don’t mind and that may take some time? but Francis needs to get used to me first? but Stewart would like me to stay? and that’s why it’s been a bit confusing for me and other times to protect you? and sometimes he tricks me because of her is showing me that you like me and trying to communicate with me every day I can also see that by you sharing this all with me but i would like him to feel safe with me also and maybe I misunderstood Francis to begin with but maybe it’s because I was adding pressure I thought it was because you didn’t like me I can see where I’ve been adding pressure now such as wanting to meet irl I think I understand Francis better now or Stewart is more in control here but Francis can hear also or just Stewart do I communicate with everyone on here? this can help build an understanding of how you all like to work it can be helpful to keep a small journal of how what happens, any time gaps, who was more present I have read that to help Stewart and Francis talk to each other more I hope I didn’t unintentionally do something that hurt you sorry if i didn’t understand before and maybe that’s why you have different meanings in your messages? I think I am beginning to understand better now I would really like that for you you all deserve to be safe without suffering for it but staying in places that cause you harm isn’t the only way to keep you safe any I know Francis works hard to keep you safe you just want to make sure I don’t hurt you ? but maybe that’s not a real reflection of how you feel about me? just sometimes you can say it in a mean I get the impression that all versions know I was the best for you and maybe Stewart is the quiet one? I wonder if there is a way I can help him see that it may be nicer for him to stop now I can understand that it’s to make sure I don’t hurt you? and that is why he can do things that are a bit mean to me? Do you think Francis is just trying to protect you ? but I’m still here waiting for you Stewart New Page 808080808 pieces

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Hannah McDonald

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sorry I don’t like thinking about her you I could go on your nice face your super talent of understanding other people’s tastes your sense of humor, your memory your sweetness, your ability to chat to anybody your storytelling skills, your nice hands :), your nice hair,like your music taste, how you dress, your speedy brain And you can start with easier things maybe each day try and think of one thing about yourself that you like if you can try and start to think that about yourself too I would really like that but as someone looking from outside I don’t think you are a bad person I know change is hard and you need to work out the best way for you but i promise you getting out of that situation will make you feel so much better about yourself I know you are trying - and I don’t want to add pressure crazy tricks aside : )I know you don’t think so but you have brought a lot of happiness into my life if you were good person you wouldn’t be able to make me feel well spending too much time around negative energy drags us down I guarantee then you will start to remember and have very cosy gentle days you would go for blustery beach walks (hopefully one day with me too)if I could have my way you would sleep for hours and hours still I like you a lot I promise you you are a good person - who has forgotten that about himself I think the situation you are in doesn’t give you enough space to see the good and the bad don’t worry everything is ok here 8 i feel you decided to do that from the first moment we met i always wonder why you decided to share this all with me will help your situation i wonder if practicing to remember you are a good person that is easy for me - as you are a nice person so in the mean time someone needs to help you with that well i think you have forgotten how to be nice to yourself you are sweet to me i think it was intended as a compliment - but you are like that too : )that so many people pretend to be weird - but im naturally weird - ha!I can remember someone saying to me once but that is also what makes us special : )i think we are both a mixture of sweet and crazy : )and I like that we are slowly getting to know each other but in summary ' i like you' : )and this morning oh im not sure what happened it removed my messages from last night dont worry i think i understand ok But you do still know I like you, even when I get a bit upset even when you don’t think so and remember I always think you are sweet everything is ok here i promise x sorry please :)and i have had a 15year old tweedy winter coat that i would love something from you on there my great uncle's canvas army bag is first in line :)on things i have that I’d love you to sew something nice for me :)and just so you know I am already stocking up you are sweet to me thank you I hope you could get some sleep too I think i understand what you said everything is ok here i think better I will ask at another time - that’s ok you are sweet i think i just understood what you said I hope you are ok x i will wait here for you dont worry ok :)You are sweet I don’t need a reply don’t worry that’s ok - I will wait here and of course way too much empathy for such a world ha and we both pretend that we are more stupid than we are to avoid attention :)on who i choose i give that attention to at least that is my experience but i think i am better at being very selective now but then we disconnect ourselves from real connection easily too but that can also feel a little overwhelming - almost too much power - so we can throw it away first so its very easy to know what people are looking for much quicker than most other people but i think we are quite similar that we understand people quite easily i hope i dont sound arrogant saying this you deserve it its time to start giving yourself energy again you give me energy and im sure you give her a lot of energy your attention gives people energy and make them feel good about themselves even if you think it isnt natural but for people like you it just comes naturally and need to compete by stealing it i think some people can get quite jealous of that ease to be popular i imagine that is what she wants from you people gravitate towards you because of you but i dont think it is i know you think that is all manipulation and masking you are a special person that people immediately warm to people really like you but i think it shows how nice people think you are that even at your lowest i think this situation you are in has made you lose all confidence in yourself so people do see some of the real you also i dont think any mask can fake that i think even if people only see that part - they can still sense your niceness but i think that is just because your more jokey side is louder i know you think you are completely hidden you are someone who is obviously very kind and sweet but people really like you. other students are often commenting on how nice you are i wonder if you think your popularity is just shallow social media stuff I understand I know you are a good person - i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t I hope you are feeling ok I am here x thats a bit of a new thing for me to try - but im trying :)even if you cant respond right now but im going to go with faith that you like me doing that also and if that is is too much for you i guess you can take a break from looking at what i write i just like the idea - maybe in these moments - that you know i like you its not about getting something in return I like doing that plus I just like sending warmth your way so its nicer for me if I can just talk when i feel like it but im one of those people who when told they cant talk suddenly needs to say a lot :)unless you would like that (which is nice for me)dont worry im not expecting you to reply or even keep up with reading it i still like sharing a nice energy to you also just to say I hope you dont mind that when you go quiet your vibe 8 :)my vibe 7 poetic champions compose i just wanted you to know everything is ok here no response needed have checked around 3 times in the last few weeks also for Stewart to know Im still not on instagram everything is ok I have lots of painting to do today I know Francis is keeping you safe don’t worry I’m still here no rush you just make sense to me you make me happy i have felt happier since I have known you and if it is any kind of marker of anything -i promise - even if you dont believe in yourself - i believe in you but i think something could help and people are more similar to you than you maybe think all to say - I know you think nothing can help in some ways I have different selves too too depending on who i am talking to so I can hide it well too yet so people often comment that im so calm and happy i get shakey and sweat when I delete all my messages here it is a way to protect myself incase I am going to get hurt that is ok I understand - i have my own way of doing that too i know that sometimes you need to protect yourself a bit after everything I am still here - because I want to be I would like that i would really like Francis to feel like I am his friend infact that is something that upsets me - the thought of hurting someone i am not someone who likes hurting people i just want you to be well so it would be nice if Francis can see that he can trust me a bit a form of protection. I see that Francis is trying to protect you its the way our minds handle these things also I have read that it is very common to have seperate selves after some trauma please I would really like that for you let your mind rest and find itself again try if you can to take a break from this stuff now i wish you could see that you deserve much nicer things who for some reason seems to think he deserves to suffer i think you are a very sweet lovely person and choose to think about ourselves in a more positive way but i think its also nice to not focus on these things so much just like you - everyone is very good at hiding these things too no one iis perfect, everyone has things that hurt or shame them and focus on outside your head too but I think it could be really nice for your head to have a break from looking inward so much just in your case it feels a bit more prominent with these dynamics everyone has dark or weird things in their minds I also think you are judging yourself on all the stuff in the corners of your mind but things can always get better maybe it can feel like there is no solution when we are not used to talking about something I think it could be really nice for you to have a more peaceful cosy life now let go of some of these things that are hurting you maybe it could be nice to make a change now do you think you can see someone who can help?we are meant for greatness- I can see it and gives me time to sort myself out too I’m certain it will happen in its own time I like you because I recognized you that is ok for me I understand what you mean now about timings and rhythm and don’t worry about me rushing don’t worry I will wait here for you everything is ok take your time no rush earlier this year did you click from somewhere quaint in Kent?I’m here x cosy autumnal sundays my favourite I’m feeling better so hopefully my cold has gone good morning. I hope you could get some sleep you are also very smart- sometimes too smart :)please i would like that be kind to yourself for me and I like you a lot I think you are a sweet talented kind person it’s ok I’m still here with you thats ok i think i understand what you try to say - most of the time :)just cosiness and pure light here remember I hope you are ok the space in between I am keeping safe i am here don’t worry I have woken up with a sneezy cold so staying cosy in bed i promise x don’t worry we have time and remember i think you are sweet it just makes sense one day - I’m certain dont worry i know that will make you quiet :)thank you - i think you are very thoughtful and i still think you are so sweet to me please I would like that but I want you to feel like you can just be yourself I think I can be more helpful this way also : )I prefer how things are now and not being so close to that stuff but I won’t try to decipher them if you don’t mind if it’s helpful to Stewart I don’t mind you using the codes you have to hide what you really want to express that’s ok I’m still here I hope you are feeling ok too i will wait here ok I think I understand I feel bad speaking negatively- but someone with kind patience is on my list : )someone who acts with gentle slowness is very good for me so although my emotions fly with the wind : )I have lived with someone who is very impatient and snaps when things don’t go his way.Your gentle slowness is very good for my soul btw one day I will get you to make me a playlist of some sort quite nice Oasis Of The Wind II A Story Of Forest And Water I hope you are ok i believe in you i am here for you, no rush and i still think you are sweet but i think you know by now I am both a bit bonkers but try to be genuine :)so apologies in advance and I will try to keep things gentle it is kind of new territory for me :)just to add I may make a mistake with my communication sometimes too Ok I think I understand do you think i am helping you?and I should just keep this space gentle and no pressure so maybe you need time to sort things a bit I feel really flattered that you reach out to me each day I think now I understand things a bit better and I think you were saying I shouldn’t see for now ok I think I’m starting to understand everything a bit better now but I just like to try and understand that’s all maybe that’s a bit too much for me to say in one go no rush I like you a lot that’s ok I don’t mind and that may take some time?but Francis needs to get used to me first?but Stewart would like me to stay?and that’s why it’s been a bit confusing for me and other times to protect you?and sometimes he tricks me because of her is showing me that you like me and trying to communicate with me every day I can also see that by you sharing this all with me but i would like him to feel safe with me also and maybe I misunderstood Francis to begin with but maybe it’s because I was adding pressure I thought it was because you didn’t like me I can see where I’ve been adding pressure now such as wanting to meet irl I think I understand Francis better now or Stewart is more in control here but Francis can hear also or just Stewart do I communicate with everyone on here?this can help build an understanding of how you all like to work it can be helpful to keep a small journal of how what happens, any time gaps, who was more present I have read that to help Stewart and Francis talk to each other more I hope I didn’t unintentionally do something that hurt you sorry if i didn’t understand before and maybe that’s why you have different meanings in your messages?I think I am beginning to understand better now I would really like that for you you all deserve to be safe without suffering for it but staying in places that cause you harm isn’t the only way to keep you safe any I know Francis works hard to keep you safe you just want to make sure I don’t hurt you ?but maybe that’s not a real reflection of how you feel about me?just sometimes you can say it in a mean I get the impression that all versions know I was the best for you and maybe Stewart is the quiet one?I wonder if there is a way I can help him see that it may be nicer for him to stop now I can understand that it’s to make sure I don’t hurt you?and that is why he can do things that are a bit mean to me?Do you think Francis is just trying to protect you ?but I’m still here waiting for you Stewart New Page 808080808 pieces

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