as the strict rules feel safe — Hannah McDonald

Hannah McDonald

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Wait Falmouth are looking at us? One day Start to build leverage- Take screenshots of as much as possible and keep a folder Any conversation about money, threats or pushing you to do something Yes take screenshots of everything. or something else? something about me and the course? college pencil us? maybe thats enough questions for today (and before the football :) its sounds like it has been a lot to deal with im sorry you have gone through this phew well done - im sure sharing that felt a lot how are you feeling I can send emails to you here StuHan8@ wonderfulbeachwalk@gmail.com a new email account for us only but im still here x I will give you some time to process this She is using that as a way to feel like you cant escape her if she did I would know for sure that she dd something to me she has no power over me I dont care if she says she saw me or whatever but you are not - people care for you her bullying works by making you feel like you are on your own you dont need to go into specifics - but I am certain he would want to help his dad that is why I would love to ask Ffion to help but it is important that you know this ok I know that is probably a lot to process you should be free to stop whenever you want it doesnt matter what was agreed at one point You decide what is best for you - no one else it doesnt matter what someone else thinks and I think it is important that you realise that sorry if that sounds too direct - but I think you are being placed in an unsafe position if it was just fun you would feel you can stop whenever you want - even when acting out S roles if it makes you feel uncomfortable that is a sign it has crossed your boundaries you are not going crazy - you are being pushed to your limits so other people have experienced this like you I have also read this is common for certain dynamics in this lifestyle to be pushed too far I have also read it is common with masking as the role to play is clear - even if not good for you and sometimes the intensity such as pain can be mistaken for a deep emotion but someone is taking advantage of the fact that it is difficult for you to say no as the strict rules feel safe I have read that this is common for Alexithymia that is beyond the rules of a healthy relationship - even in that lifestyle when you try to stop you are made to feel you are not allowed even if you say you agree - you dont really want to do it Yes I do think this is an example of bullying pressure and email acounts is someone logged in on your social media do they threaten you when you try to stop do they have IRL access to you is filming/ photos involved is money involved or just her Are other people involved just click on the ones that are true New Page Sorry will be quiet now I also saw her before I knew who it was She has no power over me - I’m not scared of her I think she is trying to pretend she has more power than she does Maybe briefly I don’t believe she really can see me Ok I’m here x Can I ask a couple of questions about the situation as a whole so I understand better Or if I think that is an example of bullying / pressure Are you asking if you should take a screenshot Was it when I said i didn’t like it Or did something to me So she saw me I went for a walk with Noah which helped cheer me a bit Thanks x Will send some messages in a bit My sweet Pepper I’m glad she was at home with me when it happened My cat just passed away in my arms I’m awake x can you try to get some sleep tonight though please ok sorry we dont need to talk about it x you can do it I know you are trying its just so I know what would be helpful things will get better x its ok x i think i know what you mean - but Im still here x or she did at one point? she can see me? I will be here but its ok to not feel ok too x I hope you are ok x It may feel exhausting now but it will eventually help clear your head a bit to feeling better. I think by sharing what you are feeling is also a massive step This heat makes everything feel more intense too Which helped me see clearer what were the best decisions for me It released so much trapped stress in my body Acupuncture helped me so much I had a really bad dynamic with a family member and just couldn’t see a way out I had a period in my life a couple of years ago that was really hard for me Sleep is so important to help us feel well Then you don’t have to talk about anything but it may help you feel more relaxed Such as feeling stressed from work or not sleeping Then you can just give a very general reason Or somatic healing therapy Maybe a first step before therapy could be acupuncture Or from thinking New Page Standard buttons to say what You (SFE) feel want like Ok we are getting somewhere :) i think that is sweet wonderful You think I’m a good person who deserves a good life go slower New Page im trying that was a lot for me to process i need some quiet time now i may seem quiet but inside my head is loud stay here with me but quietly x stay here with me what do you think? i like sunny days i do not like sunny days i like rainy days i do not like rainy days i care a lot for my sons i think that is nice I’m feeling happy i think I am funnier than you :) im feeling lovely i feel relaxed my head feels quiet I’m feeling tired Im feeling angry I am feeling very angry I wish everyone would leave me alone I’m feeling hangry I’m feeling hangry :) (sorry couldn’t resist) I’m feeling ok I am choosing where I put my energy I’m feeling a bit anxious roof Im not feeling happy I’m feeling annoyed people are pressuring me I dont have to explain myself please let me decide for myself I dont like doing that It is ok for me to say what I dont like I will not do that my head feels loud I have a weird energy My chest feels tight my muscles wont relax i have a head ache that irritated me a bit but im ok I am practicing choosing what is best for me im not sure how im feeling that interaction is draining me Ive decided this isnt good for me let me make my own decision that specifically is difficult for me that specifically is easy for me bad memories good memories just expressing myself just talking to myself please dont respond to this - let me just say how i feel nothing to do with you i am nice i am a good person well we both know I am the smart one out of the two of us :) can I email it to you have you ever read anything about unmaskng or Alexithhymea - I dont think I can spell it properly Hannah proper :) And something northern like ey up :) And mardy Oojamacallit Cov you are being annoying :) no you are really be annoying - no smiley genuine laugh sarcastic laugh go away :) tumbleweed sorry thank you i like to see i dont like to see i want to see i dont want to see i dont know im not sure what you mean sorry but I need more time i would like to do that i dont want to do that that is what i mean that isnt what I mean i like that i dont like that ok yes no New Page please do any numbers with a bit of time in between so they appear in the right order 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 New Page no one really has power over you remind yourself its psychological games - not real arrange a therapy to help write one thing a day that is true - how you feel, what you did, what you like write 3 nice things you are aiming for in the next 6 months listen to a gentle guided meditation once a day no more coded messages, write true (phonetic or nice acronyms on here is ok) dont wear any initials on clothes or rings drink nettle tea no drugs or alcohol read daily no psychedelic music walk 30 minutes a day visit nature once a day change any necessary passwords no instagram or social media for at least 2 weeks delete any hashtags, comments or posts that sign power away screenshot any messages that show bullying/ pressure block all relevant accounts from all accounts map to start today New Page Collaboration_with_nature Studio_work Home2b FO foxglove Portfolio_2024 Paintings Home_ FMP tests Theory MA coursework Interviews

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Hannah McDonald

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Wait Falmouth are looking at us?One day Start to build leverage- Take screenshots of as much as possible and keep a folder Any conversation about money, threats or pushing you to do something Yes take screenshots of everything.or something else?something about me and the course?college pencil us?maybe thats enough questions for today (and before the football :)its sounds like it has been a lot to deal with im sorry you have gone through this phew well done - im sure sharing that felt a lot how are you feeling I can send emails to you here StuHan8@wonderfulbeachwalk@gmail.com a new email account for us only but im still here x I will give you some time to process this She is using that as a way to feel like you cant escape her if she did I would know for sure that she dd something to me she has no power over me I dont care if she says she saw me or whatever but you are not - people care for you her bullying works by making you feel like you are on your own you dont need to go into specifics - but I am certain he would want to help his dad that is why I would love to ask Ffion to help but it is important that you know this ok I know that is probably a lot to process you should be free to stop whenever you want it doesnt matter what was agreed at one point You decide what is best for you - no one else it doesnt matter what someone else thinks and I think it is important that you realise that sorry if that sounds too direct - but I think you are being placed in an unsafe position if it was just fun you would feel you can stop whenever you want - even when acting out S roles if it makes you feel uncomfortable that is a sign it has crossed your boundaries you are not going crazy - you are being pushed to your limits so other people have experienced this like you I have also read this is common for certain dynamics in this lifestyle to be pushed too far I have also read it is common with masking as the role to play is clear - even if not good for you and sometimes the intensity such as pain can be mistaken for a deep emotion but someone is taking advantage of the fact that it is difficult for you to say no as the strict rules feel safe I have read that this is common for Alexithymia that is beyond the rules of a healthy relationship - even in that lifestyle when you try to stop you are made to feel you are not allowed even if you say you agree - you dont really want to do it Yes I do think this is an example of bullying pressure and email acounts is someone logged in on your social media do they threaten you when you try to stop do they have IRL access to you is filming/ photos involved is money involved or just her Are other people involved just click on the ones that are true New Page Sorry will be quiet now I also saw her before I knew who it was She has no power over me - I’m not scared of her I think she is trying to pretend she has more power than she does Maybe briefly I don’t believe she really can see me Ok I’m here x Can I ask a couple of questions about the situation as a whole so I understand better Or if I think that is an example of bullying / pressure Are you asking if you should take a screenshot Was it when I said i didn’t like it Or did something to me So she saw me I went for a walk with Noah which helped cheer me a bit Thanks x Will send some messages in a bit My sweet Pepper I’m glad she was at home with me when it happened My cat just passed away in my arms I’m awake x can you try to get some sleep tonight though please ok sorry we dont need to talk about it x you can do it I know you are trying its just so I know what would be helpful things will get better x its ok x i think i know what you mean - but Im still here x or she did at one point?she can see me?I will be here but its ok to not feel ok too x I hope you are ok x It may feel exhausting now but it will eventually help clear your head a bit to feeling better.I think by sharing what you are feeling is also a massive step This heat makes everything feel more intense too Which helped me see clearer what were the best decisions for me It released so much trapped stress in my body Acupuncture helped me so much I had a really bad dynamic with a family member and just couldn’t see a way out I had a period in my life a couple of years ago that was really hard for me Sleep is so important to help us feel well Then you don’t have to talk about anything but it may help you feel more relaxed Such as feeling stressed from work or not sleeping Then you can just give a very general reason Or somatic healing therapy Maybe a first step before therapy could be acupuncture Or from thinking New Page Standard buttons to say what You (SFE) feel want like Ok we are getting somewhere :)i think that is sweet wonderful You think I’m a good person who deserves a good life go slower New Page im trying that was a lot for me to process i need some quiet time now i may seem quiet but inside my head is loud stay here with me but quietly x stay here with me what do you think?i like sunny days i do not like sunny days i like rainy days i do not like rainy days i care a lot for my sons i think that is nice I’m feeling happy i think I am funnier than you :)im feeling lovely i feel relaxed my head feels quiet I’m feeling tired Im feeling angry I am feeling very angry I wish everyone would leave me alone I’m feeling hangry I’m feeling hangry :) (sorry couldn’t resist) I’m feeling ok I am choosing where I put my energy I’m feeling a bit anxious roof Im not feeling happy I’m feeling annoyed people are pressuring me I dont have to explain myself please let me decide for myself I dont like doing that It is ok for me to say what I dont like I will not do that my head feels loud I have a weird energy My chest feels tight my muscles wont relax i have a head ache that irritated me a bit but im ok I am practicing choosing what is best for me im not sure how im feeling that interaction is draining me Ive decided this isnt good for me let me make my own decision that specifically is difficult for me that specifically is easy for me bad memories good memories just expressing myself just talking to myself please dont respond to this - let me just say how i feel nothing to do with you i am nice i am a good person well we both know I am the smart one out of the two of us :)can I email it to you have you ever read anything about unmaskng or Alexithhymea - I dont think I can spell it properly Hannah proper :)And something northern like ey up :)And mardy Oojamacallit Cov you are being annoying :)no you are really be annoying - no smiley genuine laugh sarcastic laugh go away :)tumbleweed sorry thank you i like to see i dont like to see i want to see i dont want to see i dont know im not sure what you mean sorry but I need more time i would like to do that i dont want to do that that is what i mean that isnt what I mean i like that i dont like that ok yes no New Page please do any numbers with a bit of time in between so they appear in the right order 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 New Page no one really has power over you remind yourself its psychological games - not real arrange a therapy to help write one thing a day that is true - how you feel, what you did, what you like write 3 nice things you are aiming for in the next 6 months listen to a gentle guided meditation once a day no more coded messages, write true (phonetic or nice acronyms on here is ok)dont wear any initials on clothes or rings drink nettle tea no drugs or alcohol read daily no psychedelic music walk 30 minutes a day visit nature once a day change any necessary passwords no instagram or social media for at least 2 weeks delete any hashtags, comments or posts that sign power away screenshot any messages that show bullying/ pressure block all relevant accounts from all accounts map to start today New Page Collaboration_with_nature Studio_work Home2b FO foxglove Portfolio_2024 Paintings Home_FMP tests Theory MA coursework Interviews

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